|
I started
playing hockey at a time in my life when my confidence and self-esteem
needed a boost, and hockey gave me this in spades. Then one fateful
spring, in the lull between winter and summer hockey seasons, I
signed up for a series of yoga classes. Almost immediately I realized
that through yoga I was being offered the learning opportunity that
I had been seeking my whole life. A door was being opened that offered
a way to expand my understanding of my self and my world far beyond
the wisdom attained through sport, business, or schooling. This
was a way to discover myself apart from my strong muscles and pounding
heart, far above my logic and intellect, beyond my preconceptions
about, well, everything.
Yoga
gave me a chance to be in my self in a whole new way, to learn and
grow and achieve without the distraction of measurements like grades,
goals, and scoreboards. By the next hockey season, having experienced
the very different kind of bliss that yoga could offer, I saw that
ice hockey was not a sport that was helping me to balance my already
over-stimulated system. I realized that I needed a sport that challenged
me, but was steadier and more introspective. With yoga already firmly
embedded in my daily life, I needed a sport that offered me a chance
to learn to approach my goals with calmness, to realize the power
of patience, and use finesse rather than brute strength to reach
my objectives. So, I hung up my skates and wandered into the nearest
riding stable for a whole new sports experience.
Having
taken a ten-year hiatus from riding horses, my first day back in
the saddle made me wonder why I ever left the barn in the first
place. There is something so magical about riding. The 'oneness'
of riding has been stated so many times it has become a cliché,
yet one that still rings true. The experience of riding a horse
really is a oneness; a merging of two beings, two attitudes, two
ambitions. Every time you slip into the saddle you are creating
a marriage of kinds, one that constantly requires those golden 'four
'C's' of relationships: communication, commitment, compromise, and
compassion. Not always an easy process, but when achieved with grace
and finesse, this union between human and horse can build a synergy
that is poetry to watch, and absolute bliss to experience. However,
just as in the practice of yoga, before the bliss come the blisters.
As
a beginner I had two challenges ahead of me; to master the physical
ride; and to master my mental ride. I had to learn how to get myself
and an 800 pound horse safely over a series of obstacles with some
measure of grace and dignity, this alone was enough of a challenge
yet compounding this, I also had to learn how to master many aspects
of my self. There were many days of intense physical work, followed
by sore muscles, chafed calves and a thinly veiled animosity towards
my coach.
There
were also days of intense psychological challenge as I focussed
on overcoming my mental and physical habits, facing many of my fears,
and keeping my easily distracted mind on one task at a time. These
days were always more exhausting than the days of physical work,
and were followed by a period of processing that had me questioning
myself; seeing clearly for the first time my demanding and impulsive
nature, and my tendency towards a tenacity that could sometimes
be overwhelming for those around me. I was not only seeing my impact
on myself as I drove to succeed, but also my impact on those around
me, in particular my horse. Addressing these habits became a priority,
and you could say that my horse was the one that led me through
the first steps of learning patience and compassion. It was during
these periods of self-discovery that I occasionally questioned why
I was even riding in the first place. But, my frustration always
faded along with the bumps and bruises, only to reveal new strength,
balance and agility of both body and mind.
In
the midst of all this inner turbulence, I also had to learn a new
language. Horses don't speak English, or any other tongue for that
matter. Horses speak clear aids, they speak subtle cues, and they
speak energy. One of my greatest lessons was that you cannot successfully
communicate in the language of energy if you are tense, anxious,
distracted, or frustrated. This is where yoga came in. As I developed
as a rider, I was able to utilize the skills that I was learning
in yoga in order to balance my energy before riding; breathing,
relaxing my body, focussing my mind. Simultaneously, I was able
to bring to my practice skills that I was learning as a rider. In
yoga I was taught that it is important to let go of the past, not
to cling to old mistakes or old ideas of the self, as this can prevent
us from becoming more than our past. 'Be in the Now' was the mantra
I heard daily. But, what did it mean? 'I am here now', I used to
think, 'where else would I be?' Through riding, I got the practical
experience I needed to understand this vital skill. When jumping
a course, if you are thinking about the rail you had down on the
last fence while you are approaching your next obstacle, you risk
taking another rail down. It is essential in riding that you let
go of your past, even the past that exists only seconds ago, to
triumph in the now.
I often
expressed my revelations during lessons, and one of my coaches scoffed
at my metaphysical efforts, "I don't need yoga" he said
in his Southern drawl, "I'm already at one with myself".
At the time I laughed it off, 'just another sceptic' I thought.
'He doesn't know what he's missing'. But, over time I realized that
(yet again) he was right. Good riders are practicing yoga in the
saddle, whether they know it or not. They are sensitive to their
own energy, and the energy of their equine partner. They are in
tune with their bodies; using posture, centre of gravity, shifts
of weight and subtle cues to communicate with their mount. Good
riders are able to balance their emotions while in the saddle. They
understand that their thoughts and feelings are directly impacting
their horse's ability to relax and perform well. Good riders can
see the big picture - the whole course, the full showing season,
their horses' career - while maintaining a focus on each fence as
they prepare, take flight, land, and prepare again. Good riders
know that there is an important balance between doing and not-doing,
and are constantly refining a schedule of work and rest for the
benefit of their equine partners.
After
making this realization about the parallels between yoga and riding,
I turned my attention back to hockey to see if I could find a similar
bond. To my astonishment, a sport that I scorned for being brutal
and primitive revealed itself as a sport of balance, non-verbal
communication, anticipation, and awareness. Over time, I began to
see the qualities that I sought from yoga everywhere. I saw performers
on stage learning to let go of their pretensions of 'self' and dig
deep into themselves, and sometimes beyond themselves, to express
comical, dramatic, or desperate roles. I saw bus drivers able to
shrug off the spurs of harried commuters and remain committed to
each passenger, no matter their level of rudeness. I saw my own
young nieces overcome their juvenile impulses to discover the arts
of sharing, understanding, and cooperation. Every day I saw amazing
acts of grace, kindness, compassion, self-awareness and contentment,
and I began to realize that the opportunities to experience the
wisdom of yoga from our own 'mundane' world are limitless. From
the rush hour commute to work to the grocery store, from an early
morning run to a phone call with your mom, there are opportunities
to practice yoga I once thought lay only in the studio.
What
this series of experiences have taught me is the real magic of yoga.
I have realized my opportunity to take what I learn in the quiet
reflective moments of meditation, and put it to practice in my world.
I have the spiritual experience and can then translate it into a
human experience. For me it is only in this 'practice' that true
wisdom is achieved. Thus, my world has become my school, my playground,
my theatre, my teacher, and my student as I practice yoga not just
on the mat, and not just in the saddle, but in every moment. I no
longer have to separate my sadhana with my more 'worldly' experiences.
I no longer force yoga on my life as though it is up to me to bind
together two separate functions. I have begun to simply observe
yoga in every aspect of life, as though it has always been there,
patiently waiting for me to wake up and take notice.
Today,
I am still very much an amateur rider, and currently lacking an
equine partner I can only practice in my imagination. But then,
that's a whole other article, isn't it?
Heather
Agnew is a Hatha Yoga instructor, personal trainer, pilates instructor,
lifestyle consultant, and freelance writer. You can reach Heather
at heather@yogatrinity.com.
or www.yogatrinity.com.
|
NEW
